We talk a lot about being invisible moms…the ones who fold socks no one notices, refill snacks before anyone asks, and quietly keep the house running. But lately, I’ve been feeling like an invisible wife, too.

I love my husband. He isn’t careless or unkind. If anything, he’s too much of a people pleaser. It hurts him to say no. But somewhere in all that “yes” to everyone else, I started feeling like the one person he stopped trying to please.

And here’s the thing, I’m not subtle. If I’m overwhelmed, I’ll say it:

“I need a quiet afternoon. No big emotions. No projects. Just let me breathe and focus on keeping the kids alive.”

That’s my version of self-care. No spa days. Just peace. So when those boundaries get ignored, when a new project starts or surprise visitors show up, it doesn’t just frustrate me. It makes me feel unseen in the one place I should feel safest.

Home should be that place.

Safe.

Heard.

Valued.

When that cracks, even unintentionally, it stings more than we admit.

But here’s what I never want to lose in the frustration: my husband supports every wild idea I throw his way. I could walk in with a squirrel and say, “We’re doing wildlife rescue now,” and he’d be all in. When I sign up for hours with the color guard or bury myself under a mountain of costumes to sew, he takes the kids to the park, steps into their therapy, and just… shows up.

I have an amazing husband. Truly. But sometimes, all that goodness gets buried under the daily grind of not being heard. And that’s the reality of marriage, it isn’t perfect, it isn’t 50/50. Some days I give 100 while he’s running on empty. Other days he carries us both. Somehow, it adds up to a whole.

If you’ve ever felt invisible in your marriage, you’re not alone. You’re not ungrateful. You’re not impossible to please. You just want to matter most to the person who matters most.

Marriage takes work. It takes sacrifice. And it takes grace. Because love isn’t about never messing up, it’s about choosing each other anyway. Over and over.

So today, give your spouse a little grace. Hug them. Thank them. Notice the good. Because at the end of the day, the best marriages aren’t perfect, they’re just two imperfect people choosing each other, again and again. I wouldn’t do it with anyone else.