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Bandtober Month~~The Part of the Cult They Didn’t Warn You About
Welcome, fellow survivors, to the chaotic, caffeine-fueled world of Bandtober. If you’ve ever been sucked into the whirlwind of high school band life (especially during the notorious month of October) you already know: this is not for the weak, the well-rested, or the glitter-averse. For the uninitiated, consider this your warning: proceed with caution, humor, and a…
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Paperless Paperwork The School’s Favorite Sport
Omg. This. Freaking. School. It starts out simple: “Hey! Sign this form so your son can participate in robotics.” Cool. Love it. Robotics is awesome. I’m here for it. Except… the form is on Google Drive. And apparently, parents don’t deserve Google Drive access unless we have a district email. (Which, last I checked, we don’t.…
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The Color Guard Cult Strikes Again
When the color guard cult calls, you answer. This week’s sacred ritual? Sewing uniforms. Now, I haven’t used a sewing machine in 15 years, but how hard could it be? (Famous last words.) The bobbin alone had more moving parts that a NASA launch, the thread broke every three seconds, and at one point I…
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Love Is A Potty Word
Potty training Harper has been… a battle I was not winning. She’s smart, she’s verbal, she gets it, and she flat-out refuses. Her official title? “The Big Girl Baby.” We’ve tried everything: stickers, toys, treats, even the promise of a beach house trip. Nope. She just looks me dead in the eye and says, “I’m…
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I Might Have Just Auditioned for “So You Think You Can Dance”
I signed up for an adult dance class at my kids’ studio. A just-for-fun class. In my head, it was going to be Dirty Dancing magic, that scene where everything just clicks, my hips suddenly know what they’re doing, and I look like a total smoke show. Then my husband said, “Enjoy socializing with adults!” That’s when it hit…
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Bath Time Barbie Battles
Tonight’s bath started out innocent enough. The girls were playing “bathtime Barbies,” splashing around, giggling. It was loud, but the happy kind of loud. Then, like kids do, it escalated. Suddenly, Barbie diplomacy failed and it turned into a full-blown water war. Screaming, splashing, and a fierce debate over which side of the tub belonged…
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Chaos Then vs Chaos Now
Fifteen years ago, I was a 20-something mom with a house full of kids under six. My mornings were a carefully choreographed disaster. On this particular day, all my kids were miraculously loaded into the car by 7:20. They were calm—which should have been my first clue something was about to go wrong. Calm is…
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Haunted Rooms and Heavy Hearts
Nine years ago, Hailey walked into the room and casually announced: “Mom, my room is haunted. But it’s okay, he’s nice.” And that was it. She shrugged, smiled, and skipped away like she had just told me we were out of Pop-Tarts. Meanwhile, I was standing in the middle of our 100-year-old house, holding myself…
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Wall Licking, Hissing, and Pepperoni Politics
This week’s parenting highlight reel: • My six-year-old has started licking walls. Not once. Not for a dare. This is a lifestyle choice. I threatened to take her iPad. She shrugged… and licked the wall again. ( I’m just praying drywall isn’t a food group.) • Harper has learned to hiss from our cats. Which means my children now hiss at…
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Before Coffee, There Was Chaos
This morning started with a luxurious 2.5 hours of sleep because I stayed up way too late illustrating my next book. Enter: the panicked teenage phone call. Her ride to practice wasn’t arranged. Today’s the “big run-through.” She cannot miss it. Cue me, stumbling out the door like a zombie on a mission, carting a sleeping Harper…
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