Being fat was easier.

There, I said it.

It was easier to drink soda without a second thought. Easier to say yes to fried, buttery, delicious food without worrying about how I’d feel after. Easier to tell my husband, “Just grab me whatever they’ve got,” because whatever they had was fine by me.

And honestly? I was a lot more “fun” when I was unhealthy.

Back then, pool days meant snacking and sipping and floating until the sun went down. The dips, the charcuterie boards, the drinks…that was part of the experience. Swimming wasn’t just swimming. It was an event.

Then came the change. Thirty-three pounds lost. Seven months of rewiring what my body could handle. And let me tell you: it sucked.

The work was hard. The cravings were harder. And now? Losing the last five pounds feels like trying to wring water out of a rock. But the wildest thing is this, I didn’t realize how much of myself would change with my body.

The Girl Who Ate Fried Chicken at Midnight Is Gone

I can’t do it anymore. My body flat-out rejects it. One fried thing and I’m doubled over like I’ve been poisoned. Starbucks? A hard pass. Seven months ago I would’ve ordered a caramel sugar-bomb latte with no regrets. Now? I make my coffee at home with a splash of creamer (the “healthiest” version I can find, which is like saying the “least stabby knife” in the drawer).

Travel has become a scavenger hunt. At the mercy of resort food, I find myself analyzing every menu like it’s a math problem. Can my stomach tolerate that? Is it processed? What’s hiding in the sauce?

Even baking — something I used to love — doesn’t happen much anymore. I don’t want the temptation in the house.

And it hit me this week: the “fun mom” who never thought twice about sharing nachos and poolside cocktails isn’t here anymore.

Health Changed More Than My Waistline

Nobody tells you this. Nobody says, “Hey, just so you know…becoming healthier will change the way you socialize, vacation, and even celebrate.”

Because it does.

When you stop drinking your calories and eating whatever’s in front of you, you stop being carefree in ways you don’t expect.

Sometimes I miss that girl. She was fun, she was easy, she didn’t ask waiters a million questions about ingredients.

But here’s the truth: she also didn’t feel good. She was tired, bloated, uncomfortable in her own skin, and pretending ease was freedom.

The Hardest Part of Transformation

No one tells you that you’ll have to grieve who you were while you celebrate who you’re becoming.

I don’t miss my old body. I miss the ease. But ease was killing me slowly.

Now I wake up lighter…in every sense of the word. I can swim without the food coma, drink my coffee without the sugar crash, and know that my kids aren’t just getting the “fun” mom. They’re getting the healthy, present, alive mom.

And maybe that’s the real transformation.

Because it turns out, the fun wasn’t in the food or the drinks. The fun was in me.

And she’s still here.

Have a little grace with the changes you make for yourself. Maybe you aren’t as “fun” but you are here and that is what matters!