It started so innocently.

One little volunteer shift during halftime. A harmless, “Sure, I’ll help.”

I was just a supportive mom, standing on the sidelines, clapping like a normal person.

Then my daughter’s meal plan got messed up. Instead of complaining, I decided to do something. Because that’s what reasonable, totally-not-overcommitted moms do, right? So I signed up for meal plan duty.

That, apparently, was my initiation.

The Initiation Phase

Somehow, I woke up one morning with a spirit shirt, a volunteer armband, and a clipboard.

I don’t remember signing up for any of this. One moment I was dropping off Gatorades, the next I was… part of something bigger.

There were group texts.

There were whisper networks.

There was… glitter.

I think there was even a ceremony behind the bleachers, but I blacked out after someone handed me a whistle.

My New Life in the Guard

I am now:

• Serving meals to teenagers who eat like NFL linebackers.

• Setting up spirit lines.

• Cheering during halftime.

• Staying late for cleanup.

I’m not just a mom anymore.

I’m a Color Guard mom.

I’m part of a well-oiled glitter machine that somehow runs on caffeine, Amazon orders, and the sheer willpower of exhausted parents.

Existential Questions

Do they know I’m forty?

Do they know I already have ten kids, a landscaping company, a writing career, and a house that looks like a Target exploded inside?

Do they know I’m terrified??

Because every time I even hint that I might be overbooked, I get a cheerful text:

“Great! We signed you up for the next 4 events. Bring glitter. And cupcakes.”

Send Help (and Glitter)

I don’t think I signed up for Color Guard.

I think I joined a cult.

So if you see me wandering the football field in a sparkly shirt, clutching a whistle and mumbling about meal plans, send coffee. Or wine. Or both.

Until then, I’ll be here, fully indoctrinated, trying to remember if I’m supposed to be cheering, serving nachos, or building a parade float out of tulle and tears.

Moms of the Spirit Squad, Band, Cheer, or Color Guard…tell me your survival tips. How do I make it out of marching season alive? Or do I just embrace my new cult family and start practicing my glitter toss?