I would like to preface this by saying I am trying.

I am hydrated.

I have eaten protein.

I have breathed deeply through situations that legally qualify as “a lot.”

And yet I remain one minor inconvenience away from becoming something people warn their children about.

Not a breakdown.

A transformation.

The kind where neighbors say things like,

“She was fine. And then… Thursday happened.”

I used to think it took something big to push a person over the edge.

Tragedy. Betrayal. A flat tire on the highway.

No.

It’s much smaller than that.

It’s:

• Someone touching you when your skin is already screaming

• One more overlapping noise

• Someone asking a question while you’re mid-thought

• “What’s for dinner?” when dinner is already happening in your head

That’s the cliff.

Things That Are Fine (Allegedly):

• Spilled coffee

• Missed appointments

• A mild inconvenience

Things That Are Not Fine:

• Being touched unexpectedly

• Being spoken to while overstimulated

• Someone minimizing something that is, in fact, serious

Things That Will Trigger a Full Cryptid Event:

• Hearing your name repeated rapidly

• Someone eating your food without asking

• One more demand stacked on top of fifteen others

There is a delicate ecosystem holding me together.

It is not visible.

It is not respected.

And it can collapse at any moment.

At this stage of motherhood, I am no longer running on patience.

I am running on:

• Habit

• Muscle memory

• And the deep understanding that losing it would inconvenience me more than them

That’s the real restraint.

Not grace.

Not love.

Logistics.

Somewhere between solving problems that shouldn’t exist and managing emotions that are not mine, I catch myself staring into space too long.

That’s when the shift almost happens.

The urge to:

• Live alone

• Own one fork

• Answer to no one

• Eat dinner without commentary

This is when I must be handled carefully.

Unhinged Survival Tips (Cryptid Prevention Edition)

Because I care about public safety.

🧷 Survival Tip #1: Do Not Engage While Overstimulated

If your nervous system is already fried, silence is a valid response.

You are not rude. You are buffering.

🧷 Survival Tip #2: Choose One Thing to Ignore

You cannot fix everything.

Pick one problem and pretend it doesn’t exist today.

Tomorrow’s you will understand.

🧷 Survival Tip #3: Whisper “No” Internally

You don’t have to say it out loud.

Just whisper it in your soul and keep moving.

🧷 Survival Tip #4: If You Feel Yourself Going Quiet, Pause

Quiet is not calm.

Quiet is the loading screen before folklore.

Step away. Drink water. Sit in a locked room if needed.

🧷 Survival Tip #5: Protect Your Last Nerve Like It’s a National Resource

Because it is.

And everyone keeps trying to drill it.

This is a public service announcement.

If you encounter a mother on a Thursday who is staring into the middle distance:

• Do not touch her

• Do not joke

• Do not ask follow-up questions

She is actively choosing to remain human.

And frankly?

That choice deserves respect.