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Apparently I’m the Weird Mom Who Draws on Children
The mosquito almost got away with it. Fast forward a couple days from our last post. The itching had calmed down, but two of the bites had developed little blisters with pink rings around them, and that’s the part that made me stop scrolling and start paying attention. Here’s the thing about our family: we…
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July Isn’t Finished Yet
If July were a person, we’d all agree she needs therapy. A whole team of therapists, actually, and maybe a retreat somewhere with no wifi. We’re only halfway through the month and it feels like we’ve lived six months in two weeks, which tracks, because nothing in my life moves at a normal speed anymore.…
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The Mosquito Picked the Wrong Family
Somewhere in the last few weeks I’ve been dealing with memorial cabins, insurance paperwork, lawyers, Royal Caribbean customer service, and approximately fourteen thousand emotions I didn’t order. So naturally, life decided my next emergency would be a mosquito. Parenthood has impeccable timing. It waits until you’re already down for the count and then hands you…
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The Day My Children Became Engineers
The new trampoline arrived early. Not just any trampoline a pink one, because apparently we’ve fully committed to the pink aesthetic in this house. Pink bedroom. Pink playhouse. At this rate I’m waiting for Kris to roll up in a pink truck and announce he’s finally embracing his destiny. The old trampoline had earned its…
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Picture This: Royse City, 2026
I say that in my best Sophia Petrillo voice because my nanny loved The Golden Girls, and honestly the older I get, the more I realize Sophia was just a tiny Italian woman documenting chaos before blogging was invented. She would have been unstoppable with a WordPress account and a wifi connection. I think about…
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Pool Leaks, Grief, and the Many Ways We Cope
I’ve been a little quiet the last couple of days. My dad passed away on Friday. I sat down more than once to write, stared at a blinking cursor, and realized I didn’t have anything funny to say. That’s unusual for me, normally I can find humor in almost anything, but grief has a way…
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My Snake Became a Serial Killer
There are moments in life when you realize you’ve lost control of your household. For some people it’s the toddler coloring on the walls. For others it’s the dog eating the couch. For me? It was realizing one of my pets had escaped prison, committed murder, attempted a second homicide twenty-four hours later, and then…
Crumbs and Chaos 