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I Thought I Was Sweating Through Menopause.
I Was Actually Sleeping in Pee. There are moments in motherhood where your brain does Olympic-level gymnastics to protect your sanity. This was one of them. It was around 5:30 a.m. when I woke up feeling… damp. Not alarmingly damp. Not call-a-professional damp. Just enough damp to think, Wow. These night sweats are really escalating. Is this perimenopause? Is this…
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Playground Bully Training and Other Lies Children Tell Themselves
Playground bully training started accidentally. I did not wake up intending to run a self-defense seminar in athletic shoes I couldn’t find myself. But somewhere between “let’s get some fresh air” and “everyone stop hitting each other with imaginary nunchucks,” it turned into kickboxing, laughing, sweating, and kids learning that their bodies are not powerless in uncomfortable situations. We…
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It’s 5 A.M. and I Think This Might Be the One
Five a.m. is a dangerous time to be awake. It’s when logic clocks out, confidence clocks in, and your brain decides now is the perfect moment to question every life choice you’ve ever made while also being wildly convinced you’re on the brink of greatness. This is the hour you finish a book. Not peacefully. Not romantically.…
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I Went to Lowe’s for Paint and It Escalated
Today was a long day. Not the kind of long day where you forget to eat lunch. The kind of long day where you take down fourteen Christmas trees and still say that number out loud like it’s normal. Every room in our house has a theme. Every room. Which means every room also has…
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I Hired a Babysitter to Wrap Gifts and Somehow Ended Up at CVS With a Giant Santa
Today was the day. The day I scheduled. The day I paid for. The day I mentally rehearsed like a hostage negotiator. I hired a babysitter. I finished my chores. I painted the bathroom drywall repair from the remodel (because of course I remodeled something right before Christmas). I put on cozy clothes. I poured a…
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Feel Guilty for Sitting Down and Other Unhinged Thoughts
I don’t feel guilty for yelling. I don’t feel guilty for losing my patience. I feel guilty for sitting down. Somewhere out there, a mom is boarding a cruise ship with a margarita and zero emotional baggage. I’m apologizing to my kids because I worked on my book for twenty-seven minutes and didn’t fold laundry while…
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Bowling Alley Addition
Today I sat down to write this Tuesday post and… nothing came out. Not a joke, not a moment of chaos, not even a sarcastic thought about laundry. Just numb. Foggy. The kind of tired that doesn’t even feel dramatic…just heavy. So instead of forcing something funny, I reached into the vault. And wouldn’t you…
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Burping Jeeps, Muddy Boots, and a Whole Lot of Feelings
Yesterday should’ve been simple. But you know me…simplicity and I are not on speaking terms. I spent 4.5 hours deep-cleaning my house for a mother-in-law visit that wasn’t even happening. Not because she’d care (she wouldn’t), but because there is a special level of clean that only appears when your brain whispers, “Pretend important company is coming.” I…
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The Great Wine Heist of 2025
(AKA: Why I’m Packing 27 Gallons of Hot Cocoa Instead) If you ever need a lesson in emotional resilience, don’t read a self-help book. Just order wine online and wait for UPS. Yesterday was supposed to be simple: wine arrives, I pack like a functioning adult, we leave for our cozy little family getaway, I…
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The Day Harper Painted the Floors
There are moments in motherhood when you look around your house and think, “I’m being held hostage… by someone who can’t pronounce spaghetti.” Today was one of those days. Harper, my three-year-old tornado in a tutu, decided to be a big girl. And by “big girl,” I mean she quietly tiptoed into Lynnlee’s room, swiped a…
Crumbs and Chaos 